Dating Advice
& Fun

1. He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a liquid grain storage facility.

2. He is not quiet; he is a conversational minimalist.

3. He is not stupid; he suffers from minimal cranial development.

4. He does not get lost; he discovers alternative destinations.

5. He is not balding; he is in follicle regression.

6. He is not a cradle robber; he prefers generationally differential relationships.

7. He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes accidentally horizontal.

8. He is not short; he is anatomically compact.

9. He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a vehicular addiction.

10. He is not unsophisticated; he is socially malformed.

11. He does not hog the blankets; he is thermally unappreciative.

12. He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has swine empathy.

13. He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has introspective pornographic moments.

14. He is not afraid of commitment; he is monogamously challenged.

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